Blended Family, Co-parenting, Marriage & Family, Parenting, Stepfamily

Marriage breakdown-What are your warning lights?

What does preventative maintenance look like in your relationship? Do you understand the importance of maintenance in your marriage?

Everyday, we perform preventative maintenance in many areas of life. We brush our teeth to help prevent cavities. We take daily supplements and exercise to ensure optimal health. We get regular oil changes and tune-ups for our cars to keep them running properly. These are only a few examples of everyday things in our lives that we do to help us maintain a healthy, balanced, happy life. 

Why don’t we perform the preventive maintenance in our marriage: inspection, detection, and corrections before damage occurs and develop into major issues? For many, the answer is pride. We attempt to fix it ourselves, so no one will know there is a problem. Instead of seeking out the necessary means to assist in the relationship, many decide to “trial and error” the heck out of it. In doing so, many couples do more harm than good, inevitably causing some major damage, much of which leads to bitterness and resentment in the relationship.  

There are other options available to help couples develop healthy habits to have a more fulfilling marriage. Many couples find a marriage group they can join at their local church, as there is wisdom in being in community with like-minded individuals. There are also great resources that have been written on the topic of marriage that can be another asset to your relationship. Yet, another avenue would be to find a mentor couple, typically a couple with more years of marriage that you admire, that can come alongside you and provide guidance from their years of experience.

Here are a few points to consider for daily preventative maintenance:

  1. Inspection– Ask yourself, “How am I doing as a husband/wife? Am I fulfilling my responsibilities in my role?” Ask your spouse, “How am I doing as a husband/wife? Am I fulfilling my responsibilities in my role?” See if your answers mirror your spouses responses.
  2. Detection– Do you notice an increase in disagreements? How much time do you spend together? How would you rate your intimacy?
  3. Corrections– Once you discover there are areas of improvement needed, are you willing to be intentional in actively seeking the necessary means to help make changes in the areas that need improvement in your relationship? 

To have a healthy and thriving relationship, it requires a daily effort of open and honest communication with your spouse. If you cannot communicate or your relationship has experienced a breakdown you can’t seem to repair, please don’t hesitate to seek counseling. Don’t miss the opportunity to invest in your marriage and have the rest of your years together be abundantly more fruitful than ever!

“Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.” Proverbs 11:14 MSG

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