It’s no secret that being in a blended family comes with its own unique set of challenges. One of the toughest ones for me has been missing my biological children when they are not with me. It’s very difficult to go from seeing your children everyday to every weekend or every other weekend or, in some cases, even longer spans of separation. To tell you I have gotten used to it would be a lie. It still hurts. I came to understand that missing them was going to be part of my life because of the divorce. However, what I didn’t understand was how missing them was affecting my wife and my children that were living with me full-time.
You see, I was so focused on how much I missed the kids that weren’t with me that I was missing out on the kids that were with me. I was missing the blessing right in front of me. Many of us do this on a regular basis. We spend so much time complaining about what we don’t have that we often fail to recognize the many blessings that are currently present. It reminds me about Adam and Eve. They were living in paradise with God. It was perfect. They had all of their needs met. The only thing God asked them not to do was eat from the one tree in the middle of the garden. That was it. Then the enemy came along and pointed their attention to the one thing they didn’t have. They became so focused on that one thing that they completely forgot about everything else God had blessed them with!
I share all of this because I didn’t even realize I was doing it until my wife pointed it out to me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew immediately that I needed to change my perspective. I prayed about it and God made me aware that there is a healthy and an unhealthy way to miss my kids. I was definitely more on the unhealthy side and it was causing me to miss out on so many blessings.
Today, I still miss seeing my biological children on a regular basis, but I make sure to let them know how much I love and miss them, and I let God take it from there.
“You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.” Psalm 128:2