Blended Family, Marriage & Family

Blended: The Grandparents’ Perspective

man and child walking near bushes during daytime

As grandparents, we have seen how the blending process has continued way past our children leaving home. Our first encounter came when our oldest child became pregnant for the first time. What did that mean for us as grandparents? What was our role going to be in our grandchild’s life?

For a nuclear family, the birth of a grandchild brings extreme joy and happiness. When in a blended family, the happiness might be short-lived, or come in spurts, due to the uncertainty of your role in the grandchild’s life. In this scenario, there might be instead of 4 grandparents, six, or maybe more! How was this all going to play out? Would we be at the hospital for the birth? When would we be able to see our child and grandchild? These are just a few of the questions you might be faced with as a “blended” grandparent.

Personally, the hardest part is waiting to see if we will be included in the plans for visitations when our grandchildren are in town. It may sound like a no brainer, but when their is limited time, and they are faced with planning out their trip, time goes very quickly, when it’s split multiple times. So, often times, it leaves you wondering, if you will make the cut this time.

So now, our child is faced with the same dilemma we are faced with, “How do I split the time?” It never crossed my mind that the choice of getting divorced would one day have such an impact on my grandkids. Though, at times, this is difficult and sad, we don’t dwell on the past. We focus on how we can change the future, for the better. We don’t allow the past decision of divorce to rob us of the joy that is still to come.

So how can we handle this as blended grandparents? I think we need to start with some realistic expectations.

  1. There is only so much time to go around. You are going to be faced with many choices when it comes to visitation with your grandchild. Don’t get too wrapped up on when it’s going to happen, or how much time you get. Just enjoy every moment you are blessed to have.
  2. Don’t pressure. Don’t try to guilt your child or grandchild to come and visit you. It will only backfire. Let your time together happen organically.
  3. Do it all in love. The most important thing is to always make sure your child and grandchild know you love them and that they know you would be more than happy to see them, whenever it’s convenient for them. ( But sooner rather than later, would be great!:))

 

Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

Proverbs 17:6

 

 

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